Batman Doesn’t Quite Bat a Thousand: Nitpicking the Plot Holes

By Kimberly Gadette (doddleNEWS)

Yes, The Dark Knight Rises has indeed risen. With the exception of a handful of countries that won’t be seeing Christopher Nolan’s film until August, Batman has flown around the world and, like a catty Catwoman, I have a few things to discuss behind his bat back.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the movie; my review was, like the nuclear power reactor, glowing.

That said, I had mentioned “some muddled plot points.” While I dared not breathe a word of objection last week, for fear of ruining the bats-perience, by now most of The Dark Knight Rises aficionados have seen light of day.

Note that HUGE SPOILERS are looming straight ahead. If for some reason, you’re still holding out — waiting for ticket prices to drop, a Netflix envelope to fall into your lap, or a masked hero to rescue you from some nasty prison situated below ground — stop reading now. As for the rest of you: Come fly with me, won’t you?

Bane (Tom Hardy):

- Standing on the stairs of the City Hall, he produces some sheets of paper and proceeds to read a supposed tell-all confession from Commissioner Gordon. But the villain has just attacked the City; who’s going to believe him? (Even if it is true.)

- Why doesn’t the SEC simply refuse the bogus trade made by Bane? Last I heard, Wall Street brokers surely know fraud when they see it.

- With the Mayor in attendance at the football stadium, how is it possible that he doesn’t have some kind of police detail escorting him? There’s no sharp shooter, no guard in the crowd who might try to take down Bane? No one?

- On the attempt to transfuse the blood between a thug and Dr. Pavel in the opening scene on the plane: The human body contains ten pints of blood. Given the pressing time, the attempt to transfer even a half a pint from Pavel to the thug is just silly. It wouldn’t register, it would only mix with whatever blood type the thug already has. And then there’s the pesky problem of the teeth. Sadly, there just isn’t time to knock out all of Pavel’s pearly whites and, with a dental surgeon on hand, graft them onto the thug’s gums one by one.

Batman/Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale):

On his restorative powers:

- Miranda thrusts a knife deep into his torso and twists away. He can barely move for all the excrutiating pain he’s in. And yet, a few minutes later, there he is, la-la-la, magically back to his old bat self. (Editor’s note: Well, he IS the darn Batman!)

- Speaking of backs — Bane breaks Batman’s. Just like in the comic book (the classic Knightfall storyline), the villain actually, physically breaks his back. Yet, one ‘chiropractic’ adjustment from a fellow prisoner and a few weeks standing upright on the cold prison ground will knock that vertebrae back to normal, just like new. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

- Without money, ID, bat-transport, smartphone or friends, once Bruce succeeds in ascending the prison walls, how does our hero get back to Gotham? I didn’t notice any superpowered motorized Bat-camel hanging around the deserted wasteland on the outskirts of Jodhpur, India.

- Considering Gotham is under absolute lockdown, how does he manage to slip back in, unnoticed? Yes, I know … he’s Batman.

- Why, in all his fights with Bane, doesn’t Batman try ripping that Hannibal Lecter-esque mask off his head?

- As for Bruce Wayne’s passing: What story did his few close pals give about his death? We see the city mourning for him… how does Gotham think he died?

Foley (Matthew Modine):

- A madman has just blown up the stock exchange, murdered some people and kidnapped others. Yet Foley thinks this is the perfect time to capture Batman?

- The police decide to charge, like a limp Light Brigade, against professional killers armed with assault rifles; do they think their yells, or their impassioned beliefs of right and might, will stop the bullets in mid-air?

John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt):

- He’s able to recognize Bruce Wayne as Batman, supposedly because they share an orphaned past. By simply looking into Wayne’s eyes, he just knows.  Does that mean that each and every orphan in Gotham also knows? Including Orphan Annie?

- Any policemen patrolling the streets are immediately gunned down by Bane’s men. Yet Blake refuses to wear a disguise. Even Batman suggests that Blake is foolhardy. And that’s saying something.

- Blake throws away his badge in disgust because he’s angry at the cops who won’t let him pass over the bridge. Prior to that, he’s furious at Commissioner Gordon regarding the lie about Harvey Dent, even though that lie helped to clean up the city for eight years. Sheesh … what a hothead. Are we sure we want to put the future of Gotham into his volatile hands?

Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard):

- In the third act, Miranda confesses that she was the one who climbed out of the prison, and that Bane was her protector. She goes on to say that her father, who is Ra’s al Ghul, never accepted Bane. Though she claims she hates her father for not accepting Bane, she still destroys Gotham out of filial loyalty. Why carry out Daddy’s plan, as seen in Batman Begins?

- She waits eight years to cozy up to Bruce Wayne. Why so long? (Editor’s note: I’d argue that it took her that long to climb the economic ladder to get into that position of power.)

Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway):

- Selina is a crackerjack hacker thief extraordinaire. If she can break into Bruce Wayne’s super-duper safe, can’t she erase her own records with ease? Or find someone who can? Surely the Clean Slate program isn’t the only option for someone as crafty-clever as Catwoman.

=====

There’s probably further nitpicks but, like Batman in this most recent film, I’m asking for some help. Feel free to opine, discuss, correct. I’m “bat” your service.

About Kimberly Gadette

Film critic Kimberly Gadette, born and raised in movie-centric L.A., believes celluloid may very well be a part of her DNA. Having received her BA and MFA from UCLA's School of Theater, Film & Television, she spent many of her formative years as an actress (film, tv, commercials, stage) before she literally changed perspective, finding a whole new POV from the other side of the camera. You can find her last 450+ reviews on Rotten Tomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/kimberly-gadette/). Other than taking the occasional side trip to Cannes or Sundance, you can find her at the movies ... sitting in the dark as usual.

Comments

  1. DMaster says:

    Bane
    - he just made him self mayor and kills people like flies i don’t think anyone cares whether its true or not
    - with the mayor and stadium with have to assume bane has scouted out the place and removed any threat to him being out in the open
    - blood transfer was really stupid tbh

    Batman
    - after he got out of the prison he may have had a chapter of his company in India which would have helped him financially or many hidden bank accounts for black hour which he can somehow access anywhere. We also don’t know how long it took him to get to america maybe he just hitchhiked
    - i think as soon he was able to get his money he would be able to get into the city. lock down was meant for large masses crossing bridge, tunnel or by boat. he could have scuba swum or maybe bought a wee submarine.
    - his death wrote a suicide letter, no body he went out swimming in the sea drunk

    Foley
    - he underestimates bane and wants glory
    - police charging at them is stupidest bit in the movie. battles like that don’t happen for 60 years now maybe except Africa. soldiers are spread out in groups those policeman should have been coming from all sides in bulletproof cars and shooting from high points. but i guess if they knew bomb makes boom they didn’t care

    Blake
    - i think i saw all policeman drop their uniforms after takeover did’n't think Nolan would let such gaff in

    Selina
    - i think deleting your past is extremely hard. think of all databases that hold information about us banks, schools, police, intelligence, online companies, army, hospitals. stored as digital or hard copy in unknown place

    I agree with you on other holes. Here are some i noticed.
    - when he crashes the plane CIA would investigate and find wings few miles away from the rest of the plane. unless bane’s man moved them
    - blast from nuclear launch would probably create tsunami which would strike the city
    - there are no nuclear fusion reactors. if there was one it wouldn’t be shiny metal ball. it be a massive structure surrounded by scientist, i also don’t buy the decaying thing and how that would work.
    - why does bane has to fist fight everyone he would shot them or knife them at least he is not the one valuing life
    - why did’nt Lucius flood the reactor room whenever they were stealing the bomb?
    - and most importantly how does bane eat? i have few suggestions:
    • through a straw to his mask
    • anally
    • massive breath mask off few bites mask on
    • shot of morphine mask off and east normally
    • fills up a small room or tent with anesthetic gas (or more like PCP in his case) and eats normally aswell

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I am laughing because more than half of these “Nit-picks” are the very ones my husband and I were saying DURING THE MOVIE to each other because they were such head scratchers. Another is: “Who is Cat Woman’s pick-pocket friend and what is her purpose???” And while you point out “How did Batman get back into the city?” MY question was, “How did he get OUT of the desert…especially with no money?” That and suddently Cat Woman busts in, with no one chasing her, to rocket-launch Bane to his death. That’s not necessarily a plot hole, it’s just beyond anti-climactic.

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