Five Superheroes That Will Never Have A Movie

By Brock Cooper (doddleNEWS)

If you haven’t heard of “The Avengers,” then you must be living on another planet…in which case you could have probably been in “The Avengers.” It’s no secret that superheroes are big money and there will be no shortage of movies coming out in the future.

Still, the superhero world is vast and for every Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk there are lesser known heroes that likely won’t make it to the big screen. These heroes may be a little odd, too politically incorrect or just plain wrong.

What's your sign?

Starfox (Eros of Titan) – While most heroes are throwing cars or shooting lasers from their eyes, Starfox prefers a more kinder gentler route. He’s all about the love. Starfox’s superpower is the ability to make people feel pleasure and generally want to get busy. He joined the Avengers for a time and even helped Spiderman, but the low point in his career was when he was put on trial for sexual assault. Apparently, the law frowns upon a man who can get anyone …ANYONE…into his bed. He eventually escaped the trial and is a fugitive from justice.

 

 

 

I will see you in Wal-Mart villain!

Fate – Dr. Fate uses powerful magic to save the Earth from evil forces. Fate has a mullet. Comics are always trying to reinvent heroes to keep up with the times. In the 90’s, DC Comics sidelined the original Dr. Fate and gave some of his power to the mullet-wearing grave robber named Jared Stevens. Taking the moniker Fate, he was all business in the front and party in the back. Seeing a stinker in the make, DC killed him off and returned the power to Dr. Fate.

 

 

 

 

Does this make me look fat?

Big Bertha – In a world where everyone complains about McDonald’s fries and how 1 out of 10 people are overweight, a superhero that can make themselves grievously obese probably won’t make the cut. Part of the …wait for it…Great Lakes Avengers, Big Bertha can make herself bulletproof and super strong by getting very…very…very big. When she’s not battling super villains with the power of portliness,  she Wisconsin’s most popular fashion model.

 

 

 

Monkey Joe gave me rabies.

Squirrel Girl – Yet another member of the crack crime fighting team, the Great Lakes Avergers. The fur covered superhero Squirrel Girl has the ability to…command squirrels. You were expecting heat vision or something? If she was in Los Angeles, there may not be much use for her power, but in the Great Lakes area squirrels are as common as rats. They are actually called tree rats. With her rather selective Dr. Doolittle power, Squirrel Girl and her squirrel sidekick, Monkey Joe, go on to defeat bad guys like Dr. Doom, mandarin, MODOK, Deadpool, Thanos and more. You can’t make this stuff up.

 

 

Fear my beautiful butterfly power!

Animal Man – If you go by the name alone, Animal Man, actually sounds like a cool superhero, but in reality he’s just lame.  Buddy Baker is near a alien spaceship when it explodes and the radiation gives him the ability to mimic the abilities of any animal. For most of his career that required proximity of an animal, but he eventually could tap into the “animal kingdom” at will. Some of his awesome mimicking powers included: the bark of a large dog, reproduction abilities of a protozoa, beauty of a butterfly and smell of a hippopotamus. Still not sure if the had the olfactory ability of a hippo or just smelled like one.

About Brock Cooper

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